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Sri Ramana Anubhuti

By Sri Muruganar

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The following selections from Sri Ramana Anubhuti (Sri Ramana Experience) by Sri Muruganar describe his experience of realising the Self in Sri Bhagavan's presence. The experience was permanent for Sri Muruganar. He wrote Sri Ramana Anubhuti twenty years after realising the Self. [ 1 ]

1 - 5 : (not translated)

6.

Nowhere upon this earth,
composed of continents that the oceans surround,
was there anyone possessed
of such a dark and deadly understanding as mine.
I took the first prize, not even knowing my [real] Self.
My wicked mind was stuffed full of habits
baser than those of an ignorant beast,
and thus I remained.


8.
I have ended the confusion
of my bewildered, suffering mind.
A lowly cur,
I have merged with the gracious feet of my Master.
In the surging brilliance of his divine wisdom's splendour
the broad ocean of deadly desires has disappeared completely.

 

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9.
The dark prison, which bound my tortured soul
crumbled and I became his servant,
finding joyous life in the open sky of his ambrosial grace.
The knot which locked my spirit to my physical body
was sundered by the bright sword of my Master's glance
and was no more.


12.
I was a learned fool.
My flawed mind knew nothing till I came to dwell with him
whose glance filled my heart with the light of awareness.
Dwelling in that gracious state of peace,
whose nature is holy silence,
so hard to gain and know,
I entered into union with the deathless state
of the knowledge of reality.


13.
As the deadly delusion of a body-bound ego faded,
a flower of pure light unfolded at his holy feet.
That radiance grew ever brighter with my love
until I realized the flawless knowledge of the Self,
manifesting as the unbroken awareness 'I-I' within my heart.


15.
He became one with my very soul,
the supreme Lord, the flawless Brahman,
the life of all that is, the jewel of the Self,
turning my soul's night to day
with the fulsome rays of true wisdom's sun.

 

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16.
The confusion of the senses ended
and the world's illusion was dispelled
as grace's bright sun rose,
absorbing me in itself
and obliterating all distinctions.
And as I entered the light
of a life lived in the holy silence
of the glorious non-dual state,
the 'I' and all that arises from it
subsided and dissolved away.


18.
I was wandering deluded
in the mind's labyrinth of dreams,
running hither and thither,
desiring one thing then another
until the joy of union with the Lord welled up within me.
My body merged into the infinite light of divine wisdom
and my heart was filled with a deep inner tranquility.


23.
Corrupted by the senses' defilement,
yet was I drawn by the light of the Self
which shone in your eyes
so that I conceived a great Love for you.
With melting heart,
like a cow with young calf,
I remain a supplicant at your feet,
which hold the reward of final liberation.


25.
Unquenchable, the lamp of grace and true knowledge,
burns at his holy feet.
Through his gentle smile, where grace's flower blooms,
I have renounced and abandoned the ties of kith and kin
And I have placed myself beneath those bounteous feet
Grasping them closely.

 

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27.
He is the teacher of the eternal law through whose glance the truth unfolded,
filling my heart with the dazzling radiance
of his blissful consummate grace,
so that the body, ego and intellect were all no more.
I became merged in the divine silence,
which is the abiding knowledge of Lord Siva.

28.
A noble lion,
he fixed his victorious gaze of true knowledge
upon the rutting elephant of my ego,
which was drunk with self-conceit,
filling me with the sweet nectar of union with Lord Siva
so that the inner experience of divine wisdom
became my whole existence.


29.
I was bound for destruction
through my disastrous attachment
to the world's illusory reality until,
under my fair Lord's gracious gaze,
my understanding was flooded
with the delightful experience Lord Siva's bliss
and I entered a new life
in the boundless realm of holy silence.


32.
Through the light of inquiry
into the nature of the Self,
which is true spiritual practice,
and through the precious words of my teacher,
who is established in the state of holy silence
wherein liberation has its origin,
my soul has tasted the nectar of union with Lord Siva
in the state of bliss beyond duality,
merging into the all-transcending oneness of his grace.

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38.
Deeply absorbed in the state of holy silence
which reality's perfect light illumines,
filled with the exaltation of the non-dual state,
my consciousness merged with the Lord
and I became one with him,
winning the greatest reward of all,
to dwell in final bliss,
beyond birth and death.


39.
As the struggle between desire and aversion
came to and end,
I ceased to invoke in mere words 'the one true Godhead',
and as the light of reality which is truly sublime
grew ever brighter within my heart,
I attained that state of grace,
which is to dwell unwearyingly in holy silence.


40.
My poor helpless mind was swept along
in the swirling torrent of objective phenomena
until my Lord guided my deluded understanding
into the broad calm of his holy silence
so that the light of his majesty shone in my heart.


42.
My divine Lord and grace-bestowing Guru
replaced the loathsome darkness of my mind's delusion
with the clear light of divine knowledge
so that my understanding overflowed
with praise to his glorious reality.

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43.
Light of lights,
graciously he plunged me into the ocean of divine love
at his holy feet so that I tasted the sweetness of final bliss
with which I could not be sated.
Origin and source of my understanding,
the spreading radiance of his true teaching
rushed forth in all directions
until within my heart it united with my very being.


44.
Through the power of his feet,
gracious beacons of the unconditional knowledge,
he pierced my desolate existence to the core,
and when his noble gaze fell upon me,
spreading the unfailing light of Sivahood all about
I experienced the incomparable bliss of authentic being.


48.
Transporting me into a realm of pure bliss,
the vision of the authentic Self expanded within my heart
and I attained the state of grace whose essence is love.
Then, in the state of holy silence,
bliss and love merged together into realization
of the one true reality,
which is the experience of Lord Siva.

49.
In holy silence at his flawless feet,
thinking, yet beyond the realm of thought,
I established in my heart that consciousness
wherein his self and mine were one.
The confusion of eye and mind,
born of treacherous desire,
died away,
its falsehood revealed,
and amidst grace's honeyed flood,
divine reality was all.

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50.
I read the scriptures
but my mind could not grasp their meaning.
It was only through the gracious intervention
of my wise teacher and Master,
working inwardly,
that his own state of unbroken meditation
became permanent within me
and my heart was penetrated
and held in reality's eternal grasp.


53.
Without dissimulation he revealed to us
through the purity of his grace
that infinite state of pure consciousness,
manifesting as a radiant expanse of light
within our hearts, so that,
sitting at the feet of the creator,
with no one to give and no one to receive,
we enjoyed the union we so eagerly sought.


54.
He is my Master,
manifesting the light of true knowledge,
whose nature is love,
and that same knowledge is the means by which
I worship him, so that in my heart,
as knowledge and love merge
indistinguishably into holy silence,
my true nature stands revealed.


56.
It was fitting that he should accept me
into his holy company and fitting that I, for my part,
should approach him as a loving devotee.
Through that fair union, as I became one with him,
he bestowed upon me the glory of liberation,
whose attribute is realization in holy silence.

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57.
Languishing in the slough of my soul's defilement,
I knew not a single moment of clear understanding
until my Lord revealed to me my own self as Brahman
and as the light of grace shone forth from his fair feet,
graciously bestowing the supreme bliss of his holy silence,
all was illumined by the magnificence of
his mind, voice and form.


59.
Through the ever-present treasure
of his grace within my heart,
my life became free of the suffering
caused by the humiliating bonds of the world and the soul.
And as the ruinous effects of my former deeds
were consumed like cotton in a flame,
my spirit attained the highest bliss,
which is to dwell with my Master
in that state of grace.


61.
The pure eternal state of grace
beyond the taint of mind
flared up within my heart,
spreading through my entire physical form.
The reward I gained was the experience
of the Self as Brahman
and the victory I won was to vanquish
the bitter suffering of birth and death.


63.
A poor sinner gripped by the bonds of excessive desire,
I was deluded by my ruinous attachment
to the pleasures of the senses,
but when he conferred upon me the bliss
of his true knowledge,
all delusion was dispelled.
Dwelling thus as one with Sri Ramana
is nothing less than union with Lord Siva.

64.
Exposing the vast expanse of the heavenly realm
as mere illusion,
and the entire world known to the senses as false,
the 'I' shone forth as the supreme Self,
ruling over me and revealing to me
the goal of the Guru's mantra.

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66.
The Lord bathed me in the light
of my own inner realization
so that the mental trickery that bound me
to a world of illusion was exposed.
Then, as all desires and the thoughts that give rise to them
fell away,
the glory of his holy feet was all that remained,
radiating peace and graciously shedding the light
of his true teaching all about me.


68.
My mind extinguished,
I am his devotee,
meditating upon his ruby feet,
which bestow the grace of the Self,
whose nature is pure knowledge.
The supreme bliss of realization
arising in the sweet nectar of holy silence
has established itself within my heart
Gas eternal freedom from birth and death.


71.
Through my erroneous identification with my ego,
which was filled with desires through my false understanding
of the nature of the soul and the world,
I remained enmeshed in the web of birth and death.
But when I attained the blessed state of grace,
wherein I was embraced by the supreme bliss
of realization of the Self,
my heart entered the realm of sublime majesty.


75.
He saved me,
his humble devotee,
from destruction,
bringing me to salvation
through his own ambrosial being,
even as I languished in the dark night
of my mind's deadly delusion.
Then indeed did the holy feet of my noble Master,
bestowing his grace in holy silence,
become immovably established within my heart,
illuminating my inner being
with the golden light of true spiritual practice.

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77.
Showing me the light of his true teaching,
his holy feet drove out the ruinous ignorance that,
like a dark cloud, defiled my soul with its corruption.
Revealing to me in all its clarity the truth
whose nature is liberation,
he joyfully filled my heart
with the bliss of his profound peace.


79.
Through the victorious experience
of true realisation's full glory,
the confusion caused by my soul's defilement
disappeared completely.
Then indeed did a tide of deep peace,
which my heart could not contain,
well up and spread within me,
and as the flood increased,
desire's thirst was quenched at last.


80.
As love for my Master grew to fill my consciousness,
the blissful realisation of Lord Siva
like sweetest ambrosia,
swept me up in its flood.
Then, as I became established in that same true awareness,
the light of liberation shone out with a steady radiance
within my heart.


81.
His gracious gaze entered my heart,
bestowing the knowledge of Lord Siva
in all its fullness.
All the petty cares of my erring mind,
along with the fears they bring with them,
disappeared completely,
and as that false awareness of a personal self
which gives rise to the multifarious and bewildering world
of appearances vanished,
a new life began for me at his holy feet.

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83.
As I waited nervously, weeping and distraught,
on the threshold of his grace-bestowing divine presence,
my Master cut away the worldly desires
which so tormented me, and there,
beneath his bounteous foot,
I received a noble gift,
the realization of the true knowledge of Lord Siva.

84.
The Lord graciously manifested as my Guru,
eradicating the bondage of my deluded cravings.
Revealing to me the glory of his feet,
driving out all my desires,
he ruled over me,
so that in my soul only he remained.
The joy of reflecting upon my deep affection for him
never leaves my heart.


85.
Seeking sanctuary I took shelter at his feet,
and he, through his silent presence,
bade me henceforth fear no more.
From that day on,
through that authentic union
in which he became ineradicably established
within my heart,
my life has been filled with
a child-like happiness and profound joy.


87.
Abolishing the deep attachment
which sent me wandering in pain
from birth to birth,
he revealed to me the state of liberation
which is my own birthright,
and what is more,
he charged my voice with poetry so that,
unworthy as I was,
I was able through his grace
to speak of true wisdom even before the learned,
as if I were goddess Saraswati herself.

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88.
A poor devotee,
I fell into evil through the mean quality of my petty mind,
but when the experience
of the true knowledge of the Self
welled up within my heart,
thought melted away
in the spreading radiance of holy silence
and he showed me the radiance of his bliss,
eternal and all transcending.


92.
There was no good in me.
I was no better than a dog,
but when my Master looked upon me,
an intense longing for him arose
which penetrated my heart
and became established there,
and as the suffering
born of the illusion of separateness abated,
the deep peace of a realisation which knows no bounds
shone forth,
graciously bestowing the wisdom of the Self.


93.
My heart was sunk in the sleep of delusion,
and my self-obsessed mind
swept up in a whirlwind of dreams
so that the real glory of his true nature
was hidden from me
until he revealed it in all its majestic splendor.
Such is the compassion of my Lord and God.


94.
Difficult indeed would it be for me
to express the lofty nature of the Lord's compassion
other than by sinking into the radiant inner quietude
of holy silence beneath his gracious feet
so that my Father's own divine majesty
might become manifest in me.


97.
Bidding me behold and embrace him
without a second's delay,
my Lord and Master became inwardly one with me,
absorbing me into the great ocean of his own Self.
The realization that consists of
the merging of consciousness into that Self
was established ineradicably within me
and I began a new life,
sharing his divine nature.

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100.
'Experiencing the profound bliss of his nature
which knows no taint
I will bathe in the glorious radiance of his grace.'
Such was the clear, silent understanding
through which he conferred his enlightenment upon me.
To my soul, the love of my true father
is indeed sweeter than the nectar of the gods.


101.
In the parched desert of my sinful life
I groaned in agony,
trembling with fear,
until my Lord put an end to my suffering
and revealed to me in the sight of men
that state of grace
which even the gods cannot know.


102.
Delighting my gaze he showed me his feet
which graciously bestow true knowledge.
No one can reach and know them
through the contentious ego
with its endless convolutions,
but only through his grace,
when the mind is delivered up to be subdued
by the power of those holy feet.


103.
As the gracious light of inner realization
entered my heart,
all knowledge acquired through learning
was exposed as merely a creation of the mind,
and as it fell away,
my futile habitual mode of awareness,
in which I did not cleave to
the unconditional glory of the Self,
ripened triumphantly into true knowledge.


104.
The shadowy creations of my deluded mind,
filled with desire and worthy only of reproach,
faded as the Lord's divine grace
welled up within me.
And for my thoughts,
there remains no object
other than the glory of the Self
where I dwell in awe and wonder.

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105.
My mind's activity along with my ego subsided
and fell into total abeyance
so that no object of thought existed within my consciousness.
Then, in that overflowing emptiness,
did I experience the goal of the Self,
eternal and ever present,
as my own true goal.


106.
Entirely banishing lust and all the rest
my gracious Lord, Guru Ramana,
true wisdom's flame,
watches over me.
Through his glance alone he revealed to me
that upsurge of divine love,
sweet like the rich juice of a ripe mango,
which is the bliss of Lord Siva's blessing.


107.
Ocean of compassion,
he took pity on this poor ignorant fool
and through his grace,
cleansing the evil from my heart,
he established the supreme reality there.
Even the final cataclysm at the universe's end
could not dislodge his radiant feet from that place.


109.
He it is who is eternally one with myself
in the state of one-pointedness,
who holds me in his grip like a magnet,
who is not separated from me by so much as an atom.
And, as the vanity of the 'I am the body' fades
and is no more,
it is his presence that illumines my heart
with the teaching of the indivisible Self.


110.
Through his glance he united me with himself,
false and deluded knave that I am,
and he now dwells illustrious within my heart of hearts.
In holy silence,
as the experience of the immaculate Self,
like sweetest nectar,
overwhelms me in its flood,
my life has reached fulfillment.

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112.
Holding me in liberation's final embrace,
my Guru's holy feet light up my heart,
graciously bestowing the knowledge of the Self.
Awakened through his divine power,
I have attained strength and clarity of mind
so that the false desires
that held me in the illusion of worldly bondage
have vanished like a dream.


116.
Lost in the fruitless round of birth and death
I surrendered before my Master
and my sins were cleansed by his gracious gaze.
Holding to the path of his holy feet
my deadly vices dissolved in the light of my devotions
and I merged with the nature of the real.


120.
Through my Master's gracious revelation,
seeking deep within myself,
I knew that it was pure falsehood to claim that the state
of self-forgetfulness in which thought diversifies,
giving rise to the pairs of opposites,
could be inherent in the lofty condition of pure,
non-dual consciousness.


123.
The nature of his grace,
conferred through the bliss of divine silence,
was such that it established in me an unshakeable devotion
that I experienced as a deep love for my Lord,
a love in which my bondage was ended
and my mind dissolved
in the limitless expanse of the Supreme Self.


124.
Setting me on the straight path of true knowledge
he led me to the glorious goal of union with him
in the one-pointed state of holy silence.
My heart's gracious jewel,
true wisdom's sun,
he dissipated the dark clouds of the senses' illusory world.

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126.
When the Lord's gracious gaze fell upon me,
my heart was filled with the Self's divine radiance
in which all distinctions are obliterated
so that my evil and treacherous ego faded
in the spreading glory of divine realization's dawn,
and was no more.


127.
Gladly he ruled me,
true wisdom's flame,
and now within my heart
where in joy I made for him a home
I can perceive no other.
Only he remains,
the Supreme Self,
manifesting as consciousness' pure light,
empty and yet replete.


128.
Those who perform penances,
refusing all sustenance,
are called great men,
but never once did I refuse food with its six flavors.
Yet no sooner had his feet entered my heart,
delighting my eyes with their blissful sight,
than I fell at once into a state
where my penance became continuous
without any effort on my part.


132.
Through the knowledge granted to me by the Lord
I came to realize that the reality that lies beyond the mind
is my own true nature.
In that state the objective knowledge
which dominated my fevered mind
dissolved and fell away,
and in holy silence the fire of a pure realization,
transcending duality,
was kindled within me.


133.
Subduing and bringing me under his control,
he drew my consciousness to himself
with the irresistible magnet of his grace.
From the profound depths of his holy silence
his gracious Glance cut away my ego's ruinous cravings
in an instant.
How great is the power of his piercing gaze!

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136.
Even as I grieved over my own lack of worth,
he revealed to me the infinite heaven of his grace,
purifying me with his limitless and all-pervading light.
The delusion of a personal self was swept away
and in that clear awareness my existence became one
with Lord Siva.


137.
The holy state of grace has become established
within my heart.
The false 'I' of my personal self,
which arises through lack of attention,
has vanished.
And as the deadly ocean of wicked desires was drained,
I entered that state of clear awareness,
which is to be one with Lord Siva.


138.
A blissful emptiness invaded my heart
as he caused me to experience in holy silence
the bliss of his divine grace,
proffering me his holy feet,
and with them the eternal truth of the Self.
I am left without even the power of thought
to reflect upon this.


139.
The Lord filled me with the radiance of his own Self,
established within my heart,
so that I was left quite without the power of thought.
Separate from nothing and dependent on nothing,
my true nature is to abide in the profound wisdom
of that Self.


141.
Dwelling as the Supreme Self,
whose nature is inherently free of all becoming,
that unique reality became established within my heart
as my own true nature
and my personal self was totally annihilated in him.


142.
Through the arrogance of the body-bound ego
my mind rushed hither and thither
until it was irrevocably defeated
as my consciousness merged into
that glorious eternally blissful state of
unbroken awareness,
which is the boundless realm of the one true Self.


143.
Established in the highest awareness
which is of the nature of the indivisible Self
and which is free of a discriminating consciousness
based on discursive thought,
my mind's illusory cravings have ceased
and that enervated state dominated by desire and aversion
has come to a final end.

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146.
As the natural confusion caused by
sinful and injurious desires ceased
and everywhere, all about me,
my true blissful nature became manifest,
I was enfolded by the glorious light
of the true and exalted Self,
the reality of which is the foundation of all things
and is known as Sadasiva.


148.
He is the holy one who entered my inner being,
holding me in thrall through his compassion
so that I dwelt at his feet,
devoting myself to his service.
His will, shining within me,
became one with my own
and my ego-self subsided,
driven from my heart by true meditation,
which is to be one with him.


150.
So deserving of devotion,
he is the Lord in whom true knowledge is embodied.
Through his nature I attained an awareness
which is the clear, bright and unadulterated expression
of his love.
And it is that loving awareness
that opened up my inner being,
eradicating the desire and aversion
caused by the soul's identification with the body,
so that the bondage of the world's impurity faded
and was no more.


151.
Through his gaze
he bathed me in the rising flood of his grace,
revealing to me the glory of the Self
so that the stain of my imprisoned soul's defilement
was washed away.
Bringing my existence to ample fulfillment
by restoring it to its true nature,
he has become one with me,
dwelling within my heart
and filling me with his light.

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153.
'Transforming yourself into the pure gold of realization
through spiritual practice,
be still at my gracious feet
and let your troubles be ended.'
As he spoke these words an exalted state of awareness grew
and came to fruition within me
in which I experienced the truth
of the Upanishads and Vedic hymns.


155.
Abandoning totally any other refuge or support,
I have placed myself at the feet of my Sadguru
who lavishes on me more, much more than a mother's love.
And so, as my false ego-awareness,
which wandered lost amidst the world's objective phenomena,
faded and disappeared
I became merged
into the all-encompassing oneness of his grace.


156.
Through my deep yearning I discovered him
within my heart.
As the holy state of grace opened up
into the fulfillment of the real,
he bestowed on me the blessed state
of divine contemplation that is his teaching,
and his peace transformed my consciousness
into itself.


157.
Through his gracious teaching
he abolished the desires
that clouded my mind with delusion,
engendering in my consciousness
the infinite fulfillment of authentic being.
And thus, in holy silence,
the river of my soul ran true at last,
filled with the waters of the experience
of the supreme ineffable Lord Siva.


158.
Through the glorious wisdom
of his all-transcending nature,
which graciously granted me
the attainment of final bliss,
free of all mental confusion,
I entered a place where all actions,
whether of thought, word or deed,
are no more:
the realm of holy silence.


164.
In glory, severing bondage's knot,
my Master fixed his gaze upon me,
establishing his grace once and for all
within my heart.
And as the bliss of true knowledge suffused me,
that ego-bound knowledge,
filled with desires that bring suffering in their wake,
was abolished completely.

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165.
As the glory of his eternal teaching
suffused my understanding with bliss,
abolishing the demonic 'I' sense
which brings with it the delusion of separateness,
I obtained the blessed reward of his holy feet where,
in holy silence,
resides the ineffable reality
which is the import of all the Vedas.


166.
Through the blessing of your true knowledge,
perceiving without distinction myself in you
and you in myself,
I have come to know within my heart
Selfhood's fair and undivided form.
How then shall I praise you
when you are fully one with me?


169.
Bestowing upon me,
through his compassionate glance,
his wisdom,
which is like a diamond, hard and bright,
my Lord, Guru Ramana,
graciously accepted my surrender.
And as the black cloud of ruinous self-delusion,
which wore my body's form as a cloak,
melted away,
I perceived the precious jewel
of my own true form.


172.
Gaining a new life, I spent it
singing praises to the lofty truth of his glorious name
albeit in feeble words of little worth.
But my Lord did not deem my hymns unworthy.
Embracing me in the outpouring of his affection,
with more than a mother's love,
he banished my deadly delusion
and made me his servant.


173.
When I perceived the Self
manifesting in his radiant form,
fulfilling my heart's deepest yearning,
I was humbled by the full flood of his grace
which cleansed me of obscuring desires,
and as my ego fell away,
I bowed my head in profound humility.

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175.
Beneath my Guru's gaze
my heart of emptied of guile
so that the false understanding
that had usurped my heart
disappeared completely,
and there, in silence at his holy feet,
the pure ocean of the Self,
which nothing can contain,
swept me into the deep bliss
of the absolute Godhead.


182.
The disordered and chaotic world
created by my mind's endless modifications
ended when, through his grace,
I entered the harmonious condition of authentic being
and found my true place,
merging with his holy feet which bestow
the clear understanding of true knowledge.


184.
For there will henceforth be
neither pain nor pleasure
now that I have experienced love
at my good Lord's gracious feet.
The desires, which attended that illusory existence
lived on the level of the flawed and untrustworthy mind,
have ceased and my own essential self
has become one with the supreme.


186.
There are those who bear the marks
of the highest maturity,
but even they will fail to perceive the way to salvation
and must suffer accordingly
unless they seek illumination from an enlightened Master
and realize the truth.
It is the Sadguru alone
who can cut away the fetters of the world and the soul.


187.
No matter that we read the truth in holy books,
no matter how many vows we keep,
it is only with the help of the Sadguru
that we can conquer our confusion.
Although I was a sinner,
impure in mind,
he established me in his own state
and showed forbearance,
accepting my homage and becoming my Lord.

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195.
Through the virtuous state of absorption
wherein he dwells in holy silence as the Self alone,
he came and made me his devotee.
In that moment this whole world became as nothing to me
and I entered into a fitting union with him
who dwells as 'That'.


196.
Becoming established in the clarity of true knowledge
I, his humble servant,
have attained to the consummate state of holy silence.
Abandoning the ego
I have forsaken all company other than that of the Self,
whose glorious nature is none other than my own.


197.
Dwelling in the thought-free state of holy silence
I experienced the true knowledge in all its clarity
and in the dawn of the real I entered a new life
filled with tranquility.
At his holy feet,
becoming immersed in his peace,
I took as my own form
that which is beyond bondage and Liberation,
the Absolute of Absolutes.


198.
Attaining a vision beyond the reach of sight
and an awareness more subtle than the tiniest atom,
I have become established in the absolute reality of the Self.
And thus my mind has merged with the supreme
in which there is no going, no coming,
no connection with anything whatsoever.
Seeing itself in all that is,
its separation has come to an end.


200.
My heart was filled with that holy silence
in which the Self is fully manifest
as that profound reality whose nature is consciousness.
And the peace which I experienced
in that gracious state of pure awareness
was transformed into love for him.

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202.
When I became worthy of experiencing
that reality whose nature is oneness,
and therefore cannot be described,
the confused state in which my mind was divided
by the duality of good and evil was ended
and my existence was suffused by the Real.


221.
As long as my heart was not filled
with the divine blessing of love and true knowledge
bestowed in silence,
I was like a noisy drum,
beating out my message in words.
But through the compassion of my saviour,
who has the power to confer the final state
of total transcendence through his grace,
I entered into the deathless state
of silent absorption in him.


226.
He revealed to me the transcendent truth
so that I came to dwell in holy silence at his feet,
bathing again and again
in the sacred waters of divine awareness
until my heart was pure and refreshed,
and as the flame of bliss flared up within me,
all my bitter suffering came to an end.


233.
He forgave me my misdeeds
and made good my imperfections.
Through the grace of the Self
which shines within the heart,
cleansing it of its fundamental corruption,
he gave me the gift of a greater life lived in the real.
He is the Lord to whom I cling as my true support,
abandoning all other attachments.


235.
He is my teacher, the supreme Godhead,
whilst, as for me,
I am not worthy of sitting at the feet of such a Master.
And yet through the power of his gracious gaze
I was able to offer him my devotion
and remain in unbroken communion with him.


238.
Surrounded by desires that led me astray,
my heart was hardened
and my understanding was tricked
by the illusion of a personal self.
But now that the power of that delusive ego has dissolved
at the bounteous feet of my great Master,
my divine spouse,
I will devote my life to the service
of those who serve those holy feet.


241.
Hail to the Lord who nourished me
with the delicious ambrosia
of the eternal teaching of the being of Sadasiva
who through his love refreshed my heart,
banishing my deluded attachment
to land ownership, wealth and women,
who looked upon me through the Self's gracious eye and,
entering my soul,
made it part of him!

Footnote


This was published in "The Power Of The Presence, Part Two" edited by David Godman. The translation is by Robert Butler.